Joe posted on his FB 9/13/11

On one of our first trips to Cleveland Clinic in April, Katie said that she saw our fight against cancer as being something like Whack-a-Mole; we’d probably beat it down every time, but something would crop up in another place.

The past month, we’ve been hammering at the same mole over and over again: Kidney function. When last we updated, I’d seen my creatinine levels climb up to nearly-dangerous levels, at which point they pulled me off the experimental drug, and my kidney function returned to a normal level.

So this morning, I had to get a full panel (whatever the hell that means) done at St. Luke’s. Sure as anything, my creatinine level was high – higher than it’s ever been in this adventure. This afternoon, my trial nurse called to say they’re pulling me off drug for a week.

To say that I have mixed feelings is to undersell the situation. On one hand, I’m grateful that we know how to keep Los Uno Kidney functioning. I’m also grateful that, at least for the next week, my fatigue and memory loss ought to improve. But I’m more than a little frightened to lose that chemo security blankey for a week.

Obviously, this is why they do drug trials – to find out if the cure is worse than the disease. And I’m proud that whatever happens, I’m helping to advance scientific knowledge. But I kind of feel like my body is my crappy old car right now. My Corolla’s engine light has been on for a year or two; it’s the mass air flow sensor. I clean it two times a year, the mechanic says there’s nothing to worry about, but as you drive down the road you can’t help but notice that light, and estimate the repair payments down the road at some ill-defined point in the future.

I keep trying to convince myself that my body is that Corolla – it may rust, the check engine light may be stuck on, the steering wheel might be a little grody, and the upholstery’s seen better days. But under the hood, as long as you keep up with the routine maintenance, it’ll run forever. Please, God, let my body be a Toyota.