I’ve been writing this all over the course of three days. I still struggle to understand just the names, dates, places, and facts of this experience that I’m trying to describe below. Even more difficult to understand are the much larger issues of the spirit of this experience. I hate to use the word ‘overwhelmed,’ because it just doesn’t adequately explain all of the emotion we’ve experienced. At some point I think those words will come.
All of this is happening in the context of scans coming up tomorrow. I am always nervous about this. I am more nervous about it in the context of a conversation I had with a friend at Kroger the other night. He’s a member of a special little tribe with me, and one of the things that we’ve both learned is that lives generally have ups and downs that are proportional, and that the trick in life is bringing all of it back to a tenable center.
Call it karma. Call it fate. Call it whatever you like. I have tried really, really hard not to get TOO 'up' through the past two weeks with the spectre of a 'down' on the horizon. But all of that is in the future. Here’s the story of the past four days.
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The past four days have been so busy, so magical, and so deeply spiritual that it is hard to even get my mind wrapped around it all. I haven’t been able to process it through to write it with a theme in mind, or some kind of really great hook. I also want to reply to EVERYONE who has shared something, and asked questions about what’s been going on, and eventually, I will, but as we move into what might be two of the only four weeks we’re all at home at the same time this summer, I am trying to cram a lot into our days!!! So here’s the long-ish version of what have been four of the most unique days our family’s spent together. And I WILL get in touch with all of you eventually!!
Two weeks ago today, we found out the Today show thing was a possibility, and one week ago we were really, really sure it was going to happen. With that, last week became a frenzy of answering questions from New York, sending pictures through, and then talking with people in local media about the upcoming experience. At the same time, we were all trying to figure out: Who has pants that are decent for television? Whose armpits are too stained (that would be me)? Concurrent with all that, I had 23 kids I needed to get through the social studies OGT! I was definitely in the mode of not even thinking, just moving from one task to the next.
So Thursday afternoon, I get a call from a guy with a phone number from up by mom and dad’s cottage. He said he was from a courier service, and had a package to drop off. As I talked to him, I had that pit-of-the-stomach feeling that it had to be something bad; collection from the Clinic, collection on other med bills, or, best-case scenario, registered delivery papers from the bank on our re-fi (fingers still crossed). Ellie was convinced it was Volvo, hooking us up with an Ingrid replacement. I allowed myself five seconds of daydream on that. Friday afternoon, I was driving back home after OGTs, and on the phone with mom, and she told me that dad was heading up to the lake, because they were supposed to drop off the re-habbed engine to our old float boat up there. I said to her, my God! The courier who called me the other day had a Williams County number! I wonder if they found my name, and they’re bringing the outboard engine over to my house?! And then I'm panicking, thinking, holy crap! How am I gonna get an outboard engine up to the cottage?!
You all know where the story went from there. Joe Brenner from Thayer shows up in our drive with Angel, from an Angel. Friday afternoon becomes a fantasy whirlwind, and at 4:40 when we get home from the dealership we realize, holy cow: We still have to pack for tomorrow morning!
Friday night was about as frenzied as you can imagine, as we threw together enough clothing options to be ready for any eventuality, and then tried to calm our hearts and heads for a halfway decent night of sleep before an 0430 alarm so we could make it to DTW for an 8 am flight!
Blessedly, we got up and moving without too many spazz-outs, and caught our plane with time to spare. The magic of the weekend started as soon as Mark and I got to our seats in the very last row of the CRJ. The flight attendant at the back, Alex, saw Mark’s Indians t-shirt, and approved. He asked us where we were from, and told us he was a West Sider. We talked Tribe and Browns in between his duties. Halfway through the flight, he tells Mark, “I have someone for you on the phone,” and hands Mark the intercom phone. Mark talks to the pilot for a couple minutes, and then hands the receiver back to Alex, who tells us to wait around when the cabin clears, and Mark can go up to sit with the pilots.
A guy in a well-tailored black suit is waiting for us at the bottom of the escalator with a sign with our names. It’s the second-best arrival I’ve ever made in another city, the first-best being Jason Peiffer waiting for me at Gulfport, Miss. 15 Mardi Gras ago, with my name written “BOIL” in magic marker on the back side of a ripped up Bud Light 12-pack.
We hop into a giant Escalade, and fly through Jersey, kids agog at the skyline, into the Lincoln Tunnel, and emerge in Manhattan. The kids are instantly on 11: “Look!! Pigeons!!! They’re everywhere!!!” “Dad, I think this is where Sesame Street is!” “Hey! People actually have dogs here!”
We arrive at the Crowne Plaza Times Square around 11, and we’re already exhausted. We check our bags while waiting for our 3 pm check-in, and up the escalator comes another of our angels, Kristin Stadum. A couple hours later, on the subway, a random stranger asks Kristin if we’re family, and I tell him “May as well be!” How long have we been friends now? More than half our lives. She came up on the bus the night before, and not only could we not have asked for better companionship, we couldn’t have asked for a better guide. She vectors us to a little hole in the wall Italian restaurant, and we all have a hearty, awesome meal before going ‘splorin.
After lunch, we catch a train down toward the World Trade Center. We angle over toward St. Paul’s Chapel, and the haze of the last day of Spring obscures the top of the Freedom Tower. Through a construction walkway, we make our way to the memorial. We try to explain 9-11 to the kids. It’s really hard to explain 9-11 to kids.
We cut over toward Federal Hall, and I take the kids up to the steps, and try to paint the scene of Washington’s inauguration, and the procession from Federal Hall down to Fraunce’s Tavern. Down Broad Street we go, desperately searching for a restroom for Mark – which will be a recurring theme the next 28 hours!!! The kids roll their eyes at each photo op, from Bowling Green station, to Castle Clinton, until we finally get one of those “WHOA”s that parents and teachers secretly delight in. They look across the river and see the Statue of Liberty, and Joey starts popping around the sidewalk like a set of firecrackers. It’s a pretty great moment.
The adults sit down for a while near Castle Clinton, and the boys chase pigeons. They are big fans of pigeons. Ellie and I walk down to the Merchant Marine Memorial, and eventually we all walk over toward the ABMC East Coast Memorial Tablets. So. Many. Names.
We find bathrooms, again. I point out the location where Hulk punched Thor. Katie, the voice of reason, says we gotta get back to the hotel before we turn into pumpkins. I get switched up, again. We double time back to the hotel, and I can feel my fatigue coursing through from my core. My legs start getting heavy, and my head starts to throb. Even the boys are complaining of being tired… and they never get tired.
The boys and I pass out in our room. Throughout the night, I wake up with nightmare after nightmare of being late, or missing the show entirely. Six o’clock rolls around and the alarm dutifully goes off. The boys and I get ready, which thank God, consisted of putting on T-shirts and shorts. We meet up with the girls, who look a lot nicer than us, and mosey down to the garage where another black Escalade picks us up for the short hop over to NBC. The SUV slides to a stop in front of the studio doors, and we get whisked into the security desk.
We get checked off “the list,” and led down a gorgeous, golden curved staircase to the basement of Rockefeller Center. Gorgeous, 1930s-era murals of transportation surrounded us. We checked into one green room first, then were taken upstairs to a second green room. As they hustled us in, I saw a coat rack, with stick-on labels for “Matt,” “Savannah,” “Al.” I asked for the bathroom, quick. Turns out I haven’t outgrown the old nervous poops. We tried to figure out where we were, because we could see out to the street, and the street could see into us! I texted Kristin – who had used her airline miles to get my sister in for the show! – and told them what window to look for. When I saw them, I instantly felt less nervous about everything!
People came and went from the green room, and at about 7:30, the pace and tone of everything intensified. Sound guys hooked us up with mics, the makeup artists took Katie and I upstairs a couple levels to get us squared away. We made faces at Kathy and Kristin, and met a guy named Zack, who caught A-Rod’s 3,000th hit, along with, apparently, some 8,000 other baseballs over the years. He was a hell of a character, and kept us entertained with stories as the hair and makeup people finished with Katie. The show was underway out on the plaza, and we saw young hipster barbers working some sort of magic on bald guys. A big grill was set up for a food segment. And the whole time, I was watching this digital clock counting us closer to 8:30, and getting really, really nervous.
Maybe around 8:20, we were escorted to the backstage area. Lump in my throat was the size of an orange. They brought us out to the couch to settle in. We were bug-eyed. The cameras were much bigger, and the studio much smaller, than I ever imagined. One of the cameramen came over to talk with me, a cancer survivor himself, with a happy ending. God, I love cancer stories with happy endings!!!
Craig Melvin and Erica Hill stride into the studio from their outside shot, cameras move around, a director puts us in place in front of the windows, and quick introductions are made. I have no idea at all what to do with my hands. The anchors introduce the piece, and cut to tape. We see the tape rolling, and it is absolutely surreal to see my life flashing on screens before my eyes. They come back to us live. I think I’m talking, but not sure. I hope that I’m making sense. I quote Fred Beier with a little “true story.” And then they start to spring the surprises. Before we left, the most popular parlor game among our friends was “Why is Today flying you guys to NYC? Why not just do the taped story?” Some thought it would be an Oprah moment with a car for you! And you! And you! I was still convinced New York was the ‘big prize,’ after all, this was a pretty damned expensive trip for NBC to fly us all out there and put us up!
You all know what the surprises were. I sort of wondered if Captain America would be part of our day, so I was surprised, but not shocked when Cap walked onto the set. But I was absolutely flabbergasted when he told us we’d be going to the filming of Civil War. If you’re a big enough comic nerd, you know that ABCDisney ownes the Marvel Cinematic Universe franchises, and I was kind of processing “BUT HOW DID NBC PULL OFF THIS????” when they came out with the Indians surprise, and said ‘…first pitch…’ and at that point, I don’t think I even knew what my own name was, and then they hand me the jersey, and asked whose number it was… and I blanked. Bad. Thank GOD Katie was right there and picked up on something Caroline had off-handedly mentioned to her about Cory Snyder. Katie whispers a prompt, and then I’m like, OF COURSE! CORY SNYDER! And, then, HOLY CRAP. I’m going to meet Cory Snyder!
Vinny wrote me something afterward along the lines of, ‘the 12-year-old you just had the best day of his life – Captain America and Cory Snyder’ – and he’s absolutely right. And let me say, for the record, that the 40-year-old me would trade all of that in a hot second to not have cancer!!!! (And I mean it. If my scans are clean on Thursday, they need to pick someone else for all of this!!!)
Just as soon as it was started, it was over, and the anchors moved over to the couch area, and we were trying to be as quiet as church mice, whispering back and forth with Captain America, and getting pics of the kids holding his shield, and waving out to Kristin and Kathy and blowing kisses. Caroline walked us back to the green room, and Lester Holt was sitting on the couch as they broke out the champagne for his last Weekend Today. He said “hi” and “Good luck” to us, and all I could come up with was a cheery “Hi, Lester!”
On our way back, Caroline introduced us to a rep from Marvel, who had a goodie bag of shirts, bobbleheads, and Captain America figures for us. And just like that, it was all over. Caroline walked us out to the plaza, and I ran across to hug Kristin and Kathy.
And that’s when I finally cried. That’s when it all caught up with me.
We got a car back to the hotel; Kristin and Kathy beat us on foot. We checked out of the hotel, and walked to Ellen’s Stardust Diner. The entertainment was great; the chocolate chip pancakes better than I make at home, and a waiter came through finding the birthday people, and we volunteered Mark – who was a champ, and spoke loudly and clearly into the mic! After lunch, Kathy and Kristin left to check out of their apartment, as Katie and the kids and I worked our way up Fifth Avenue to the soon-to-close FAO Schwarz. The toy soldier guards were awesome with the kids, and inside, it was hard even as an adult to contain your glee. Men flipping little foam planes sucked us in, and hell, we bought one. Kristin and Katie caught back up with us, and we said goodbye to Kristin as she headed back downtown to get the Bolt back to DC.
Down Fifth Avenue we walked, past Gucci, Armani, and lots of places so fancy I have never heard of them. We went into American Girl so Ellie could look around and dream, and then the LEGO Store so the boys (and this big boy) could dream! Around the corner was the FDNY experience, and we got to talk with a couple of firefighters who work this educational mission, and sell FDNY merchandise on the side (and seriously, what better souvenir can you buy than something from the fire department?!)
We walked back to the hotel, and cooled our heels in the lobby. Ellie and I made a mad dash out into Times Square to get I (heart) NY shirts, and then we all walked a mile across the island to see the USS INTREPID. No sooner had we gotten to the ship, and our car for the airport called. He’d arrived early, and we hot-footed it back to the hotel, grabbed our bags, and dripping in sweat, hopped in the car, snaked through traffic on the east side of Manhattan, and made it to LaGuardia with time to spare.
And with that, a plane, a delay, a flight, a drive, and then home. Such an adventure. Such blessings.
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